oh, don't succumb to such oppression & morbidity.

it's such lazy, monotonous evenings that trigger you to think. reminisce, recall, reflect, regret.. been thinking, the day i sold myself to my school life would probably go down in history as the day i made the biggest mistake. it's almost as good as me signing an agreement; a death agreement. why? sure, it's an institute of education afterall. but the more we are taught, it's probably the case that we are more aware. cognizant of this cruel life we lead. don't you think it'd be better off if we we're ignorant? ignorance is bliss. we wouldn't have to know. REBEL. so much for moulding my future, i laugh. it's crushing my dreams, here. DARN.
i'm bound to this. with knots so tight there's no way i can break loose. TIME. oh, such a crucial factor. no time, no time. i wish. neglecting everything, everyone. i need to get a hold of this once more. where am i heading? be my compass.

things, it has taught me. many invaluable things. to be more unyielding, unbending, uncompromising. just when things are all going this way. capture all those stray emotions.. ever wondered why we've never thought of rebelling? hah. -sarcasm. maybe it's cause we've all been indoctrinated, brainwashed, manipulated. WHY ARE WE CONTROLLED? WHY DO WE OBEY? was talking with violet that day. she's right - that day, during recess, she was looking out the window. and wondering, what would happen if i just sneaked out like that? what can they do to me? i agree. why do we bend the knee. why does our instinct not ever think of going against what is set for us? i wonder :D why we think it's right to stay in school. it's the society. the culture. the way we're brought up.

darn, i sound like i'm staging a revolution here. no, there isn't a trace of that intent, not at all. i haven't been influenced by hitler or whatsoever, to challenge authority. don't misjudge my views. it was a random thought :D hah. to misunderstand me would be equivalent to me losing my I-M-A-G-E :D which is entirely superfluous. see me for who i am. though there's more than meets the eye. live with this confusion and irony i throw at you today; don't try to define me.
fragmentarily vanishing within these subfusc walls. save me if you may.



so a day when you've lost yourself completely,
could be a night when your life ends.
such a heart that will lead you to deceiving,
all the pain held in-