yes, we can :D
i'm invisible to you, i know.
just take it like i don't exist.
i gave up everything i had,
on something that just wouldn't last.
thanks, i so needed that.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006 | 9:06 PM
what would you do if someone you knew committed suicide?
it has just shown me how trivial all my problems are. to think i am stressed. some people out there are so tied down, they think taking their life is the only way out. but think again.
what grief. even for someone like i, who knew not that person. but i could feel it. what would his parents do? he made the wrong choice. there's always reason to live.
and i would never do the same. see how it hurts.
and that reminds me of this song :D
we are the reason - avalon
As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that waslost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him
He is my reason to live :D
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. - 1 corinthians 13:10
it has just shown me how trivial all my problems are. to think i am stressed. some people out there are so tied down, they think taking their life is the only way out. but think again.
what grief. even for someone like i, who knew not that person. but i could feel it. what would his parents do? he made the wrong choice. there's always reason to live.
and that reminds me of this song :D
we are the reason - avalon
As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him
He is my reason to live :D
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. - 1 corinthians 13:10
| 7:42 PM
i get it now.
so this is what they call a mental breakdown.
thanks people, for your concern. i'll be fine.
as tension rose.
broken inside.
you see right through me &i can't hide.
i'm naked around you - does it show?
break through my defences:
for here i am again, with nothing left inside.
shed your covers and open yourself; frail.
take my hand, let's go for a walk.
i know you can.
futile.
& what use is there, trying to salvage something that is already lost? the story's not done; unraveled at the seams. for time healsno wounds - serving only the purpose of convicting it upon my heart.
the doves have died.
so this is what they call a mental breakdown.
thanks people, for your concern. i'll be fine.
as tension rose.
Monday, August 28, 2006 | 10:49 PM
broken inside.
you see right through me &
i'm naked around you - does it show?
break through my defences:
for here i am again, with nothing left inside.
shed your covers and open yourself; frail.
take my hand, let's go for a walk.
i know you can.
Sunday, August 27, 2006 | 5:52 PM
futile.
& what use is there, trying to salvage something that is already lost? the story's not done; unraveled at the seams. for time heals
the doves have died.
| 3:59 PM
last night i had good food to eat :D haha, so i took pictures to make y'all jealous! yay, i am one big meanie! haha :D
my brownie! :D jealous?
and this is me! :D oh, i'm a sucker for brownies :D
just don't remind me how many calories i'm gonna be gaining from this /: hah.
sweet <3
hope?
light cuts through the clouds and haunts me, like bad dreams
outside lookin' in, i'm feeling lost and cold as sin
a shred of hope, a little bit of sweetness - anything please, except fordefeat
if i could i'd lock you up and toss out the key, it's just you and me
what's the point in faking,
if your hand isn't mine for the taking?
cuts like a knife-
my brownie! :D jealous?
and this is me! :D oh, i'm a sucker for brownies :D
just don't remind me how many calories i'm gonna be gaining from this /: hah.
sweet <3
| 12:45 AM
light cuts through the clouds and haunts me, like bad dreams
outside lookin' in, i'm feeling lost and cold as sin
a shred of hope, a little bit of sweetness - anything please, except for
if i could i'd lock you up and toss out the key, it's just you and me
what's the point in faking,
if your hand isn't mine for the taking?
cuts like a knife-
Saturday, August 26, 2006 | 7:31 PM
to one of the three. i love,
you are the moon - the hush sound
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
darkness, darkness everywhere; do you feel all alone?
the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone
you don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
it floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
all the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
the shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
i will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact,
so precise and so pristine; a perfect pane of glass
i will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
so you can see your beauty every moment that you rise
& forgive her,
that austere self.
you are the moon - the hush sound
shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
darkness, darkness everywhere; do you feel all alone?
the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone
you don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
it floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
all the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
the shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe
i will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact,
so precise and so pristine; a perfect pane of glass
i will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
so you can see your beauty every moment that you rise
& forgive her,
that austere self.
| 12:19 AM
to help, oh what a joy.
one, i want to help. but i think it's your approach. if only you don't portray yourself as one. afterall, i once went through what you did; enough to know how it feels. hang in there. so much has been said before, perceptions created and conclusions drawn.. but ultimately, i think you need it so much right now, more than ever. it's the deja vu that has hit me, and now i want to help you. tell me why.
two, i want to help. but i don't know how. you seem so secure yet..is that a tear i spy? i can't lean onto you if you can't stand yourself. we barely know each other but i find comfort in your company. i seek solace where you are. unsure, we all are. i want you to know that just as you are there for me, so will i for you. and i can know i'm never lonely. it's such a surprise that you promised me such; that's the real thing that warmed my heart.
three, i want to help. but i don't dare. there's always this instinctive fear. why? say it's your lowest point only now, but i say "that's hard to believe". coincidence, you call it. but i think it's the truth. you must face this. for you know not that your mask is down. but dare i go further? things could be worse. i don't want to take this the wrong way. i've done enough.
maybe.
the five letters that can be so uncertain and deceptive. at times, probably even used as a tool such that we escape from our fears. we hide from reality and run from the truth. but it will continue to chase us, and win.
appease this painful memory;
one, i want to help. but i think it's your approach. if only you don't portray yourself as one. afterall, i once went through what you did; enough to know how it feels. hang in there. so much has been said before, perceptions created and conclusions drawn.. but ultimately, i think you need it so much right now, more than ever. it's the deja vu that has hit me, and now i want to help you. tell me why.
two, i want to help. but i don't know how. you seem so secure yet..
three, i want to help. but i don't dare. there's always this instinctive fear. why? say it's your lowest point only now, but i say "that's hard to believe". coincidence, you call it. but i think it's the truth. you must face this. for you know not that your mask is down. but dare i go further? things could be worse. i don't want to take this the wrong way. i've done enough.
maybe.
the five letters that can be so uncertain and deceptive. at times, probably even used as a tool such that we escape from our fears. we hide from reality and run from the truth. but it will continue to chase us, and win.
appease this painful memory;
Friday, August 25, 2006 | 10:37 PM
yay, i made the week.
sleeping later than 2am everyday sure is something; i did it. i'm still so shocked how i managed to survive training yesterday, without food. hah. sure, i was expriencing that nasty gastric pain again, and it affected my performance ): as it is, i think i need to correct my posture. the pain just made it worse, 'cause i had to keep bending over. but ohwell. i still went throught the motion. just got to remember to relax those shoulders and raise my cg. i'm gonna do this.
watch out people, 'cause we're coming. we're gonna bring it all back - the glory days. no one's gonna stop us. we have the passion & fire now, more than ever. for us, for cedar. for we've been left on the sidewalk long enough-
it's all a mad rush. oh, talk about choosing the right paths.did i venture into the jungle? walk down the right one, that's what edna says. and i cannot agree more. why face those bombs? where are we heading, why are we doing this? for whom, for what. are we willing? RAHH told me what balm nail said. and i think it's so true - this is our life. we can only live it once. is this what we want to do with our lives? we're not LIVIN' it. and yes, we're missing out on so much joy and fun in life. RAHH, you're right. we all used to feel confident. we had direction. now we need compasses.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah. vicky said something that really made me think.
she can't find her place, says:
uh huh.
she can't find her place, says:
what's it?
the chapters unfinished, says:
wait ah
the chapters unfinished, says:
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
yeah. you noe, mb i jus think too much, but seriously, this is our life u noe. we will never get to live it agn. i wonder is whatever i m doin realli wat i want to do with my life.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. i've always thought about that, really. i mean. sometimes i envy others. how they can be so free, to LIVE life. like pinghui, for example. she can.. MUG. okay, even if you say mugging isn't our life, but she isn't constrained.. sigh, don't know how to put it.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yes, there are more stuffs we discussed. so emo ><
she can't find her place, says:
sometimes i wish, i could take breaks. 'cause i know i won't want to totally give up this. i wish i could come and go, as and when. wouldn't that be great? but we cannot choose; we can't have the best of both worlds.
the chapters unfinished, says:
thats why
the chapters unfinished, says:
we chose this path, we have to keep on moving forward.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. talking about paths. that day i was talking to nicholas about this too.
she can't find her place, says:
about me choosing this path. sometimes i wonder if i'm wrong. recently, the doubts and sense of insecurity have escalated to such a level.. i really don't know if i am putting in my best.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i realised that i'm always doing last minute work, and when things don't turn out right, i regret.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't like.
she can't find her place, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
the chapters unfinished, says:
LIFE HAS CHANGED
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
ALOT! i think abt how i used to be. it comes across that my past was so immature. but i think of the present n it somehow makes me feel like i m missing out on so much fun n joy of life
she can't find her place, says:
):
she can't find her place, says:
i used to be.. so carefree. at least i knew where i was heading.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i used to be so confident of myself. now it's all gone.
she can't find her place, says:
now, it's always an endless struggle to complete what's at hand. just, for now. what's in it for us, long term? i cannot see, i cannot tell. and i don't know if i want to know, if i'm ready to know. i realised how it has come to pass that i have to let go off my past, i cannot afford to hold on to them. i'm beginning to forget things so easily..
she can't find her place, says:
everyday serves only the purpose of GOING THROUGH THE MOTION.
the chapters unfinished, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
im getting all so emo now.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't understand why we slog so hard for others. we sacrificed so much stuffs, results, our sleep, whatever.. and for who? us?
she can't find her place, says:
YES.
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i am blogging about. hah, you just talked about this and coincidentally i am blogging so i just did some consolidation and reflection.. and i said the same thing /:
she can't find her place, says:
where are we heading, why are we doing this? for whom, for what. are we willing?
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i posted.
she can't find her place, says:
or rather, am posting.
the chapters unfinished, says:
ohmy.
the chapters unfinished, says:
somehow we sounded selfish. but we are humans too. WE NEED A LIFE OF OUR OWN PLEASE.
the chapters unfinished, says:
aye.
she can't find her place, says:
YES ):
she can't find her place, says:
i know.. it's "if we don't do it, who will? someone has to sacrifice." and we're not exactly complaining about it. 'cause like i said, we sure won't want to entirely give this up. but at times, enough is enough. we're experiencing saturation here, and that you cannot deny. that's why i believe we need time off. we need to take five.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
maybe we are just born to lead. like sometimes i ask myself why do i want to go that extra mile so that something could turn out well. why am i committing myself so much? impulse? not likely.
the chapters unfinished, says:
urgh, don't know ah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
then after you feel all the stress and whatever, you think you shdn have committed yourself. then why did we still volunteer in the first place? ohmy, so complicating.
she can't find her place, says:
):
sigh, SOS. we need help. and this is for real.
watch as they all fly away;
sleeping later than 2am everyday sure is something; i did it. i'm still so shocked how i managed to survive training yesterday, without food. hah. sure, i was expriencing that nasty gastric pain again, and it affected my performance ): as it is, i think i need to correct my posture. the pain just made it worse, 'cause i had to keep bending over. but ohwell. i still went throught the motion. just got to remember to relax those shoulders and raise my cg. i'm gonna do this.
watch out people, 'cause we're coming. we're gonna bring it all back - the glory days. no one's gonna stop us. we have the passion & fire now, more than ever. for us, for cedar. for we've been left on the sidewalk long enough-
it's all a mad rush. oh, talk about choosing the right paths.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah. vicky said something that really made me think.
she can't find her place, says:
uh huh.
she can't find her place, says:
what's it?
the chapters unfinished, says:
wait ah
the chapters unfinished, says:
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
yeah. you noe, mb i jus think too much, but seriously, this is our life u noe. we will never get to live it agn. i wonder is whatever i m doin realli wat i want to do with my life.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. i've always thought about that, really. i mean. sometimes i envy others. how they can be so free, to LIVE life. like pinghui, for example. she can.. MUG. okay, even if you say mugging isn't our life, but she isn't constrained.. sigh, don't know how to put it.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yes, there are more stuffs we discussed. so emo ><
she can't find her place, says:
sometimes i wish, i could take breaks. 'cause i know i won't want to totally give up this. i wish i could come and go, as and when. wouldn't that be great? but we cannot choose; we can't have the best of both worlds.
the chapters unfinished, says:
thats why
the chapters unfinished, says:
we chose this path, we have to keep on moving forward.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. talking about paths. that day i was talking to nicholas about this too.
she can't find her place, says:
about me choosing this path. sometimes i wonder if i'm wrong. recently, the doubts and sense of insecurity have escalated to such a level.. i really don't know if i am putting in my best.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i realised that i'm always doing last minute work, and when things don't turn out right, i regret.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't like.
she can't find her place, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
the chapters unfinished, says:
LIFE HAS CHANGED
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
ALOT! i think abt how i used to be. it comes across that my past was so immature. but i think of the present n it somehow makes me feel like i m missing out on so much fun n joy of life
she can't find her place, says:
):
she can't find her place, says:
i used to be.. so carefree. at least i knew where i was heading.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i used to be so confident of myself. now it's all gone.
she can't find her place, says:
now, it's always an endless struggle to complete what's at hand. just, for now. what's in it for us, long term? i cannot see, i cannot tell. and i don't know if i want to know, if i'm ready to know. i realised how it has come to pass that i have to let go off my past, i cannot afford to hold on to them. i'm beginning to forget things so easily..
she can't find her place, says:
everyday serves only the purpose of GOING THROUGH THE MOTION.
the chapters unfinished, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
im getting all so emo now.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't understand why we slog so hard for others. we sacrificed so much stuffs, results, our sleep, whatever.. and for who? us?
she can't find her place, says:
YES.
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i am blogging about. hah, you just talked about this and coincidentally i am blogging so i just did some consolidation and reflection.. and i said the same thing /:
she can't find her place, says:
where are we heading, why are we doing this? for whom, for what. are we willing?
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i posted.
she can't find her place, says:
or rather, am posting.
the chapters unfinished, says:
ohmy.
the chapters unfinished, says:
somehow we sounded selfish. but we are humans too. WE NEED A LIFE OF OUR OWN PLEASE.
the chapters unfinished, says:
aye.
she can't find her place, says:
YES ):
she can't find her place, says:
i know.. it's "if we don't do it, who will? someone has to sacrifice." and we're not exactly complaining about it. 'cause like i said, we sure won't want to entirely give this up. but at times, enough is enough. we're experiencing saturation here, and that you cannot deny. that's why i believe we need time off. we need to take five.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
maybe we are just born to lead. like sometimes i ask myself why do i want to go that extra mile so that something could turn out well. why am i committing myself so much? impulse? not likely.
the chapters unfinished, says:
urgh, don't know ah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
then after you feel all the stress and whatever, you think you shdn have committed yourself. then why did we still volunteer in the first place? ohmy, so complicating.
she can't find her place, says:
):
sigh, SOS. we need help. and this is for real.
watch as they all fly away;
| 1:46 AM
i can't concentrate on chem. in fact, i can't concentrate on almost everything. 'cause.
when there was me and you - high school musical
it's funny when you find yourself
looking from the outside
i'm standing here but all i want
is to be over there
why did i let myself believe
miracles could happen
'cause now i have to pretend
that i don't really care
i thought you were my fairytale
a dream when i'm not sleeping
a wish upon a star
that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
when there was me and you
i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
and when you smiled
you made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's
once upon a song
now i know your not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
'cause now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
'cause i liked the view
when there was me and you
i can't believe that
i could be so blind
it's like you were floating
while i was falling
and i didn't mind
'cause i liked the view
thought you felt it too
when there was me and you
oh, sure is a nice song (: it's sad; reminds me of that song this morning. thanks jappy, for it. and it was darnit apt. and that's when i could not contain it any longer. was i forcing to feel that way again? it's situational, elyssa. don't fall for it, not anymore.
#5 revisited.
when there was me and you - high school musical
it's funny when you find yourself
looking from the outside
i'm standing here but all i want
is to be over there
why did i let myself believe
miracles could happen
'cause now i have to pretend
that i don't really care
i thought you were my fairytale
a dream when i'm not sleeping
a wish upon a star
that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
when there was me and you
i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
and when you smiled
you made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's
once upon a song
now i know your not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
'cause now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
'cause i liked the view
when there was me and you
i can't believe that
i could be so blind
it's like you were floating
while i was falling
and i didn't mind
'cause i liked the view
when there was me and you
oh, sure is a nice song (: it's sad; reminds me of that song this morning. thanks jappy, for it. and it was darnit apt. and that's when i could not contain it any longer. was i forcing to feel that way again? it's situational, elyssa. don't fall for it, not anymore.
#5 revisited.
| 1:09 AM
& i cannot express how strongly this deja vu has come upon me. why do i commit the same mistake, going through the same motion? oh, and i wish she knew.
memories; i love.
afterall, i once posted:
Thursday, April 27, 2006
i am blind.
really blind.
those close brushes with affection are lost.
it isn't complicated.
it exists.
probably even strong.
say no more.
i didn't have to be lead by thenose heart.
i'm SORRY,
i should've never felt that way.
just reading it brings back so many unpleasant memories. i was naive;am i still? will i ever change. you say, this is "my nature". but why do i believe it's just me, refusing to move out of this. all this talk, about being worthless, about hating myself, about feeling sorry for everything.. i've gone over this. why is it all coming back once more? i hate this.
why can't you just believe,
this feeling's like no other
i want you to know
i've never had someone that knows me like you do
the way you do
i've never had somone as good for me as you
no one like you so lonely before i finally found
what i've been looking for
i don't want to miss you tonight.
memories; i love.
afterall, i once posted:
Thursday, April 27, 2006
i am blind.
really blind.
those close brushes with affection are lost.
it isn't complicated.
it exists.
probably even strong.
say no more.
i didn't have to be lead by the
i'm SORRY,
i should've never felt that way.
just reading it brings back so many unpleasant memories. i was naive;
why can't you just believe,
this feeling's like no other
i want you to know
i've never had someone that knows me like you do
the way you do
i've never had somone as good for me as you
no one like you so lonely before i finally found
what i've been looking for
i don't want to miss you tonight.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 | 1:32 AM
without you - lonestar
Fire, smoke, bad joke
That's what my life's been turned into
Hurt, cry, pray to die
That's all that I've got left to do
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Guilt, shame, I'm to blame
For all the pain I put you through
Cold, stoned, mind blown
There's nothin' left for me to lose
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Time goes by
Still, I'm
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
it's a nice song (: i know i cannot be selfish. and i don't know why i'm still waiting.until the end of time. 'cause, there's never been anyone like you. really, it pains me i cannot make you mine. yeah, and that's what i want. i'm not gonna reject any longer. i've decided, to be ready to let you in. though not in that sense. sometimes i wish i could tell-all. you deserve to know. but what will that change? things will stay the same. effort, and the courage to fight for what i want. how can i, when it is plain that you are out of reach? i'm confused. i don't want to take this anymore.
been sleeping late these days; i just can't sleep. maybe 'cause i'm up thinking too much. but friends, you cannot do without. thanks nick, jap, fab, ms computer & RAHH. honestly i will be fine. i'll get over this, whatever that's got me so down. being an emotional burden. i'm sorry, if ever. i've become so conscious ever since. i don't want to drag anyone down. thanks jappy though, for that call.
bring it all back <3
Fire, smoke, bad joke
That's what my life's been turned into
Hurt, cry, pray to die
That's all that I've got left to do
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Guilt, shame, I'm to blame
For all the pain I put you through
Cold, stoned, mind blown
There's nothin' left for me to lose
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Time goes by
Still, I'm
Without you
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
it's a nice song (: i know i cannot be selfish. and i don't know why i'm still waiting.
been sleeping late these days; i just can't sleep. maybe 'cause i'm up thinking too much. but friends, you cannot do without. thanks nick, jap, fab, ms computer & RAHH. honestly i will be fine. i'll get over this, whatever that's got me so down. being an emotional burden. i'm sorry, if ever. i've become so conscious ever since. i don't want to drag anyone down. thanks jappy though, for that call.
bring it all back <3
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 | 12:27 AM
maybe this is what we need -
a bruise and a little bleeding,
some space that we can't breathe in;
some silence in between.
my love for you isblind.
a bruise and a little bleeding,
some space that we can't breathe in;
some silence in between.
my love for you is
Monday, August 21, 2006 | 12:45 AM
who am i?
Sunday, August 20, 2006 | 8:22 AM
the first cut is the deepest.
i decide
i decide
Saturday, August 19, 2006 | 8:08 PM
hey people, please check out our cedar blog here! :D leave comments, please! especially cedarians. haha, if you want, you can join as a member :D i've done my posting for today, so it's your turn to comment :D thanks!
-loves, the five among the sea of blue :D
darn, i'm a wastrel. no doubt ): and i'm in trouble again.
it keeps me holding on, and i'll never view this as foolish. 'cause you're worth it. yes, you're right. the doors ain't gonna shut. never. i'll welcome you with open arms, always. and i know you know that, we both do. but i don't want to bring you down. you must stay up there; while i down here. that's the way things must be.i can't go on like this forever. but .
we're fighting for a cause.
-loves, the five among the sea of blue :D
darn, i'm a wastrel. no doubt ): and i'm in trouble again.
it keeps me holding on, and i'll never view this as foolish. 'cause you're worth it. yes, you're right. the doors ain't gonna shut. never. i'll welcome you with open arms, always. and i know you know that, we both do. but i don't want to bring you down. you must stay up there; while i down here. that's the way things must be.
we're fighting for a cause.
Friday, August 18, 2006 | 11:55 PM
i want my phd! :D and i got it, people :D bwahah. after attending one physics lesson in sharron university, i GRADUATED with a phd! :D woohoo. if only it were that easy. ohwell, everyone else in the class is not allowed to say "YO!" until they come back with a phd :D till then, continue washing those test tubes! :D bwahah. will elaborate more in my next post. my brain isn't thinking right now ): hah. but i must say again, that ms ng never fails to perk us up :D woohoo, YO! YO! YO! :D
base acid alkali <3
i almost had you;
base acid alkali <3
i almost had you;
| 10:10 PM
5. the number of times i cried.
over & over. but it's all out now :D sat in a corner pathetically /: to the very last drop.
haha, i've learnt :D i'll be fine, honestly.
break the heart, & you break the spirit.
over & over. but it's all out now :D sat in a corner pathetically /: to the very last drop.
haha, i've learnt :D i'll be fine, honestly.
break the heart, & you break the spirit.
Friday, August 11, 2006 | 3:54 PM
today was another 'fabCEL-and-i' day :D bwahah. we were talking so much shit in class :D i think we always do. anyway it's so convenient for me to just turn around :D haha. there's always so much in common! i remember the previous time when we crapped it was on a friday or something :D fabCEL was gonna do show-and-tell :D eew i hate that. haha. then we were saying how public speaking seriously just sucks ): haha. time and again it's been proven that we're not the only ones, and it ain't only with regards to this topic. as with many other things.. even between RAHH and i :D we just got to speak up, speak out! :D haha. then you'll see people feel the same way. you're not alone :D
today fabCEL and i were going crazy in geog! ooh, babies xD darn, geog is getting more and more depressing. sometimes i really pit dr ong /: sorry we're such a bad class, andi'm such a bad student ): sigh. well, it was on rebate & relief today :D woohoo, according to our calculations, we're gonna have 50 children! then we can become millionaires! :D woohoo. oh, and inezlau is so super interested. when she heard you get money for giving birth xD wenyi said she's despo. ohdear, despo over children? sounds wrong /: paedophile! :D haha. set, violet said fabCEL and i can just give birth to 10 children a time. so the job will be done in 5 times :D woohoo. to me, it's more like. my reproductive system will fail me by the 10th child! :D bwahah.
okay, fabCEL and i are gonna rmb to have our moms staying with us at home, marry at 16 years old to some NS guy and have 50 kids. keep that in mind :D woohoo, that way we'll be rich. imagine all the relief! :D phew.
YAY I'M GOING TO PLANETSHAKERS' CONCERT TONIGHT! :D rocks.
oh, so i'm just supposed to wait in line. well, wait. i forgot, i am incompetent, aren't i? that's perfectly fine. wonder why i hold on. that's so difficult to believe. now i'm in a spot. got to wriggle out of this :D how?i will wait. ohwell, chess is a waiting game; be patient. though that's only one of the strategies. everything's a risk taken. i know. well, i'm just gonna listen to what mr yau said today in physics :D everything has it's possiblities; we just got to find 'em. & it hurts that i'm such a perfectionist.
"i don't wish to knock you down. but i need time, to swallow."
if time is what you need, i can give you the world.just don't hurt me. wait, it's unfair for me to say that. you have your own life. i'm being a selfish loser this way. sorry i can't let go. anyway you weren't even mine to begin with. so wth am i talking about.
just shut up, elyssa.
today fabCEL and i were going crazy in geog! ooh, babies xD darn, geog is getting more and more depressing. sometimes i really pit dr ong /: sorry we're such a bad class, and
okay, fabCEL and i are gonna rmb to have our moms staying with us at home, marry at 16 years old to some NS guy and have 50 kids. keep that in mind :D woohoo, that way we'll be rich. imagine all the relief! :D phew.
YAY I'M GOING TO PLANETSHAKERS' CONCERT TONIGHT! :D rocks.
oh, so i'm just supposed to wait in line. well, wait. i forgot, i am incompetent, aren't i? that's perfectly fine. wonder why i hold on. that's so difficult to believe. now i'm in a spot. got to wriggle out of this :D how?
"i don't wish to knock you down. but i need time, to swallow."
if time is what you need, i can give you the world.
just shut up, elyssa.
Thursday, August 10, 2006 | 10:33 PM
we built it up,
to watch it fall.
will i ever understand?
to watch it fall.
will i ever understand?
| 9:33 PM
'cause i had to do it.
i guess talking to nick did provoke thoughts. over this issue. haha, i know his secret :D and he knows mine :D so yay. i guess i'd be better off singing "there are secrets that we keep" :D and i'm going to help him. tell me it's not a question of deserving; that devotion does not equate to deservance. but still, i'm going to make sure he tries.and that he gets it. woohoo, if only i had the courage to do the same. tell me this is weird. i actually said something. even i can't believe i did that. ohwell :D
haha, see part of our conv:
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
LOVE IS NOT FOR THE SAKE OF LOVING..
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
u love because u cant help but do so..
crazy and wild, says:
haha, precisely. so there will be no NEW till.
crazy and wild, says:
don't know.
crazy and wild, says:
sigh ):
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
i rmb there was some movie.
crazy and wild, says:
movie again xD
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
i watching movie then at the start got trailer.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
erm
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
this girl and this guy.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then at the fair or circus or smth.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then he looking around for her.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then suddenly their eyes met
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
time froze.
crazy and wild, says:
xD
crazy and wild, says:
ohman.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then someone tripped and fell before the time stopped rite? then the popcorn stuck in the air,
crazy and wild, says:
haha.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then he walking to her. swipe away the popcorn slowly..
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
<3
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
haha i'm a sucker for these stuff
crazy and wild, says:
xD
yep. and so it is. both of us, pathetic and crazy. if only-
i guess talking to nick did provoke thoughts. over this issue. haha, i know his secret :D and he knows mine :D so yay. i guess i'd be better off singing "there are secrets that we keep" :D and i'm going to help him. tell me it's not a question of deserving; that devotion does not equate to deservance. but still, i'm going to make sure he tries.
haha, see part of our conv:
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
LOVE IS NOT FOR THE SAKE OF LOVING..
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
u love because u cant help but do so..
crazy and wild, says:
haha, precisely. so there will be no NEW till.
crazy and wild, says:
don't know.
crazy and wild, says:
sigh ):
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
i rmb there was some movie.
crazy and wild, says:
movie again xD
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
i watching movie then at the start got trailer.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
erm
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
this girl and this guy.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then at the fair or circus or smth.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then he looking around for her.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then suddenly their eyes met
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
time froze.
crazy and wild, says:
xD
crazy and wild, says:
ohman.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then someone tripped and fell before the time stopped rite? then the popcorn stuck in the air,
crazy and wild, says:
haha.
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
then he walking to her. swipe away the popcorn slowly..
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
<3
A Bio Student's Love Declaration: Let me be your Endorphin says:
haha i'm a sucker for these stuff
crazy and wild, says:
xD
yep. and so it is. both of us, pathetic and crazy. if only-
| 12:42 PM
her life lays out on the shadows of the wall,
she turns the light on to release it all.
she wonders what it's like to not feel worthless -
so open all the blinds and turn those curtains.
i can't try any harder than i do. all the reasons i gave; excuses i made for you.
forget the world;
she turns the light on to release it all.
she wonders what it's like to not feel worthless -
so open all the blinds and turn those curtains.
i can't try any harder than i do. all the reasons i gave; excuses i made for you.
forget the world;
| 11:56 AM
tag replies;
kyle: sheesh, i'm not all that subtle :D don't be subtle! :D haha, 'cause it sucks when no one understands. i promise :D
rw: ohdear /: confiscated! haha, i think they don't want you to rely on it :D bwahah. must have sense of direction :D
pail: thanks :D and congrats for getting into maintainence! :D what you wanted :D
deborah: YES, TOTALLY ): see my dying eyes /: sheesh.
JESSICA!: since when is he your man :D bwahah.
dajie: haha :D yay. haven't been tagged and haven't tagged you in a long time /:
dajie: haha, yes :D orienteering! :D woohoo.
dajie: thanks dajie :D takecare.
Jeff: haha, HI! :D
joseph: yeah :D gonna fall soon :D bwahah.
kyle: sheesh /: taking subtlety into overdrive, rmb? :D
sharron: haha, YES IT'S OVER NOW :D i'm happy, and sad. haha. oh, jiayou for open house! :D YOU CAN. and i will be there on that day to help you :D haha, duty what :D
kyle: haha, someone did ):
miss yellow: thanks oic :D love!
miss yellow: HAHA, NATIONAL DAY ROCKED! (: woohoo.
kyle: can we choose not to remember that, ever? /:
RAHH: precisely ): we need help here. ohdear, SOS! :D
RAHH: yeah sure, borrow mine :D
RAHH: haha, i thought it should be "he sticks to my teeth" or "he stuck to my teeth".. i mean, STUCKS?! :D bwahahah. but yes, mike dear :D hah! stalk stalk :D
stepdaughter: thanks dear :D
stepdaughter: haha, YES! PIG IT OUT :D
kyle: don't read into it /:
yusin: hahaha. at least you did. i wasn't disciplined enough /: the computer's alluring :D bwahah.
yusin: yes! waste of everything /: haha.
yusin: haha :D we did it, yusin :D thanks.
yusin: no major hiccups :D loves!
RAHH: haha, the whole world is rocking! :D ohdear, i'm about to get motion sickness soon /: -bad headache.
vicky: yes balm nail :D thanks.
kyle: sheesh, don't compare with me >< i am fat /:
rw: sheesh /: sleeping beauty?! :D
rw: bwahaha :D sure! but you're still my new daughter, so there :D
kyle: woah, since when have i become ms piggy /: haha. can't help it /:
dajie: thanks dajie :D happy national day too :D
done! (:
kyle: sheesh, i'm not all that subtle :D don't be subtle! :D haha, 'cause it sucks when no one understands. i promise :D
rw: ohdear /: confiscated! haha, i think they don't want you to rely on it :D bwahah. must have sense of direction :D
pail: thanks :D and congrats for getting into maintainence! :D what you wanted :D
deborah: YES, TOTALLY ): see my dying eyes /: sheesh.
JESSICA!: since when is he your man :D bwahah.
dajie: haha :D yay. haven't been tagged and haven't tagged you in a long time /:
dajie: haha, yes :D orienteering! :D woohoo.
dajie: thanks dajie :D takecare.
Jeff: haha, HI! :D
joseph: yeah :D gonna fall soon :D bwahah.
kyle: sheesh /: taking subtlety into overdrive, rmb? :D
sharron: haha, YES IT'S OVER NOW :D i'm happy, and sad. haha. oh, jiayou for open house! :D YOU CAN. and i will be there on that day to help you :D haha, duty what :D
kyle: haha, someone did ):
miss yellow: thanks oic :D love!
miss yellow: HAHA, NATIONAL DAY ROCKED! (: woohoo.
kyle: can we choose not to remember that, ever? /:
RAHH: precisely ): we need help here. ohdear, SOS! :D
RAHH: yeah sure, borrow mine :D
RAHH: haha, i thought it should be "he sticks to my teeth" or "he stuck to my teeth".. i mean, STUCKS?! :D bwahahah. but yes, mike dear :D hah! stalk stalk :D
stepdaughter: thanks dear :D
stepdaughter: haha, YES! PIG IT OUT :D
kyle: don't read into it /:
yusin: hahaha. at least you did. i wasn't disciplined enough /: the computer's alluring :D bwahah.
yusin: yes! waste of everything /: haha.
yusin: haha :D we did it, yusin :D thanks.
yusin: no major hiccups :D loves!
RAHH: haha, the whole world is rocking! :D ohdear, i'm about to get motion sickness soon /: -bad headache.
vicky: yes balm nail :D thanks.
kyle: sheesh, don't compare with me >< i am fat /:
rw: sheesh /: sleeping beauty?! :D
rw: bwahaha :D sure! but you're still my new daughter, so there :D
kyle: woah, since when have i become ms piggy /: haha. can't help it /:
dajie: thanks dajie :D happy national day too :D
done! (:
Wednesday, August 09, 2006 | 11:26 PM
ouch, fakers.
yes that's what i said.
yes that's what i said.
| 5:22 PM
i had another breakdown
and i'm floating face down
i might as well just sleep it off
wishful thinking's got my wires crossed
when i'm desperate and alone
i know howlow i go
let's sit on the swing. i'll push you up and we'll never come down.
moments frozen in time.
and i'm floating face down
i might as well just sleep it off
wishful thinking's got my wires crossed
when i'm desperate and alone
i know how
let's sit on the swing. i'll push you up and we'll never come down.
moments frozen in time.
| 4:06 PM
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY :D
yay, happy birthday to my aunt :D who's all the way in london /: ohdear. but i'm sure she's having a nice life there :D yep.wish i could migrate.
ahh, wonder why yesterday i was so put off by ___. haha, RAHH knows. don't wanna say it 'cause some people will get hurt /: yep. probably 'cause it's national day, so there's the influx :D ohwell, i'll live with it. RAHH, rmb our hunt? it's the _____ of passion :D so everything turned into "iloveyou" /: bwahah, and this reminds me of our plushtoy-selling for cip on sunday :D misscomputer and i! :D we share the whole "i-love-you-no-thanks" theory :Doh, the sweetness of rejection. sure :D
today i felt like a pig /: boo. slept in and then stuffed myself with godiva chocolate biscuits. ahh, darn the weight factor. i know i'm fat enough. fab says i have to cut down 'cause petit girls are cuter.who's gonna be cute? /: bwahah. I AM FAT ):
sometimes we say things that we ought not to. and we do things we should've never. and that stays, i must assure you. ohwell. it's always me in this world. that's ever so cruel :D i will stop thinking that we're ever possible. 'cause i know the answer. and i wish i could change it. it's exciting, though only for me. thankyou, for that. just lead me by the neck. ack-
i said go, but notaway (:
i can't wait for sushi and studying. 'cause we need it :D i'm getting much too stressed here. haha. oh, and tmr i'll be going to watch lakehouse with nick and the other enthu ex-305ers :D yay, i know nick has waited long enough for this :D so let's go :D and we'll have fun.
i love
yay, happy birthday to my aunt :D who's all the way in london /: ohdear. but i'm sure she's having a nice life there :D yep.
ahh, wonder why yesterday i was so put off by ___. haha, RAHH knows. don't wanna say it 'cause some people will get hurt /: yep. probably 'cause it's national day, so there's the influx :D ohwell, i'll live with it. RAHH, rmb our hunt? it's the _____ of passion :D so everything turned into "iloveyou" /: bwahah, and this reminds me of our plushtoy-selling for cip on sunday :D misscomputer and i! :D we share the whole "i-love-you-no-thanks" theory :D
today i felt like a pig /: boo. slept in and then stuffed myself with godiva chocolate biscuits. ahh, darn the weight factor. i know i'm fat enough. fab says i have to cut down 'cause petit girls are cuter.
sometimes we say things that we ought not to. and we do things we should've never. and that stays, i must assure you. ohwell. it's always me in this world. that's ever so cruel :D i will stop thinking that we're ever possible. 'cause i know the answer. and i wish i could change it. it's exciting, though only for me. thankyou, for that. just lead me by the neck. ack-
i said go, but not
i can't wait for sushi and studying. 'cause we need it :D i'm getting much too stressed here. haha. oh, and tmr i'll be going to watch lakehouse with nick and the other enthu ex-305ers :D yay, i know nick has waited long enough for this :D so let's go :D and we'll have fun.
i love
| 3:48 PM
ohdear, this is supposed to be ytd's post /: but i wasn't allowed to finish it 'cause it was 1am. haha.
YAY WE DID IT! :D
thanks to all in the ndp committee :D woohoo, we rock! :D haha.
i sure hope the cedarians enjoyed today :D'cause you'll never know how hard it is to organise such an event till you're involved /: but i guess it was all worth it :D and like mr yau said, we're gonna miss it ): through this ndp, we've seen the true cedar spirit :D thanks to all the sec three & four classes who agreed to help. 4M is the best, volunteered :D bwahah. thanks to AV, all peecees, psls who helped :D thanks to all motivators and dancers :D thanks to the UGs! woohoo, awesome parade :D thanks to emcees! :D and of course, teachers. bwahah, hope i didn't leave anyone out /:
thankyou also to achala, for reminding me to smile :D i will smile super widely for you :D and woohoo, sining, your thumbdrive ain't lonely no more :D haha. thankfully i didn't wash my jacket /: haha. and thankyou evelyn, for your encouragement :D loves.
OF COURSE, NOT FORGETTING MY OTHER TWO PICs! :D thanks for everything; we've done it :D yay. vvips were impressed, hopefully tun fatimah too :D
after ndp debrief we stayed in school to discuss teachers' day /: sheesh. thankfully the meeting with miss lizah was cancelled, or we would've died /: stayed till 1230, then we got so sick of staying in school that we decieded to go PS :D haha, macs.oh and guess who PAIL and i saw there /: sheesh. we ran, oh sure we did :D we also saw missyellow, huiyi and melody at cafe cartel :D sheesh, kept looking in from the window, made us appear so poor :D bwahah. then much later we also spotted debo and anabella in there! :D bwahah, we were so cheapskate. joined them just to eat the free bread /: and kop postcards! :D
something even more interesting.. we met the queen! :D woohoo, i would've bowed down, you know :D too bad i still got my dignity :D lalala. then we saw something that was SO SINING! :D haha, someone was wearing a jersey that had "YEO" on it. cool :D so in the end we took a photo of her back, and made RAHH pretend we were taking a photo of her as as to not seem suspicious :Dseems like RAHH is always the one :D bwahah.
then at 1730 i went for amath tuition. YUCK. i felt like a no-lifer. totally. amath tuition on the eve of national day. grahh- but i still survived anyway :D and i had fun with karen! :D bwahah. 10 days to karen's birthday :D and 4 days to fab's.
woohoo, national day. say "yay".
tangled up in you;
YAY WE DID IT! :D
thanks to all in the ndp committee :D woohoo, we rock! :D haha.
i sure hope the cedarians enjoyed today :D
thankyou also to achala, for reminding me to smile :D i will smile super widely for you :D and woohoo, sining, your thumbdrive ain't lonely no more :D haha. thankfully i didn't wash my jacket /: haha. and thankyou evelyn, for your encouragement :D loves.
OF COURSE, NOT FORGETTING MY OTHER TWO PICs! :D thanks for everything; we've done it :D yay. vvips were impressed, hopefully tun fatimah too :D
after ndp debrief we stayed in school to discuss teachers' day /: sheesh. thankfully the meeting with miss lizah was cancelled, or we would've died /: stayed till 1230, then we got so sick of staying in school that we decieded to go PS :D haha, macs.
something even more interesting.. we met the queen! :D woohoo, i would've bowed down, you know :D too bad i still got my dignity :D lalala. then we saw something that was SO SINING! :D haha, someone was wearing a jersey that had "YEO" on it. cool :D so in the end we took a photo of her back, and made RAHH pretend we were taking a photo of her as as to not seem suspicious :D
then at 1730 i went for amath tuition. YUCK. i felt like a no-lifer. totally. amath tuition on the eve of national day. grahh- but i still survived anyway :D and i had fun with karen! :D bwahah. 10 days to karen's birthday :D and 4 days to fab's.
woohoo, national day. say "yay".
tangled up in you;
Monday, August 07, 2006 | 11:03 PM
tmr's the BIG DAY.
the day yusin abi and i have been toiling countless hours for :D woohoo, it's gonna rock. YES IT WILL. i must have faith and say i can. 'cause i know there are so many people out there supporting me :D so i cannot let them down! :D woohoo. it's gonna be a blast. and, as abi puts it, everyone will go home happy :D bwahah. hopefully! well, at least we can take comfort in the knowledge that the mass dance is pretty successful :D YAY! so shake your butts off tmr, people :D
you know how it is like passerbys. yep, they just go in & out like that. and so it is the case that i should stop this whole thing.i wish i could. how'd we ever land up this way, i want to know. oh sure, complete the square if you may :D
today was our last rehearsal. yep. indoor /: i'm really freaked out over tmr. there are so many things that aren't exactly settled. or maybe that's the way it always feels. insecurity. so many IFs. sigh. BUT WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER! :D tell me those nights without sleep and days without food weren't in vain ): sheesh.
but i'm still fat. need to lose weight. thanks to vicky! ahh, a skinny 36kg ): like sheesh, make me feel so zibei. sigh. i will run & run,runaway :D woohoo, just as fast as i can, to the middle of nowhere :D bwahah. ohman, stop the subtle-emo shit right now.
you're the meaning in my life,
you're the inspiration.
RAHH got me hooked <3
the day yusin abi and i have been toiling countless hours for :D woohoo, it's gonna rock. YES IT WILL. i must have faith and say i can. 'cause i know there are so many people out there supporting me :D so i cannot let them down! :D woohoo. it's gonna be a blast. and, as abi puts it, everyone will go home happy :D bwahah. hopefully! well, at least we can take comfort in the knowledge that the mass dance is pretty successful :D YAY! so shake your butts off tmr, people :D
you know how it is like passerbys. yep, they just go in & out like that. and so it is the case that i should stop this whole thing.
today was our last rehearsal. yep. indoor /: i'm really freaked out over tmr. there are so many things that aren't exactly settled. or maybe that's the way it always feels. insecurity. so many IFs. sigh. BUT WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER! :D tell me those nights without sleep and days without food weren't in vain ): sheesh.
but i'm still fat. need to lose weight. thanks to vicky! ahh, a skinny 36kg ): like sheesh, make me feel so zibei. sigh. i will run & run,
you're the meaning in my life,
you're the inspiration.
RAHH got me hooked <3
| 2:36 AM
woohoo, into song lyrics. lyrics that express. yep.
alterbridge :D
looking back i clearly see
what it is that's killing me
through the eyes of one i know
i see a vision once let go
i had it all
constantly it burdens me
hard to trust and can't believe
lost the faith and lost the love
when the day is done
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
on and on we stand alone
until our day has come
when they open their eyes
and realize we are one
i love the way i feel today
but how i know the sun will fade
darker days seem to be
what will always live in me
but still i run
it's hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go
will i ever save this day
will it ever change
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
still today we carry on
i know our day will come
when they open their eyes
and realize we are one
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(its hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go)
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(lost the faith and lost the love when the day is done)
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
'cause we're stepping into the unknown. that sense of uncertainty is ironically comforting. and yes, we're in this. it's the way things have grown to become. i ought not to freak out, eh? 'cause that's when things end. think think. how can this be. it's thefirst ever. for i am fragile.
i will kill what hurts with something pure-
alterbridge :D
looking back i clearly see
what it is that's killing me
through the eyes of one i know
i see a vision once let go
i had it all
constantly it burdens me
hard to trust and can't believe
lost the faith and lost the love
when the day is done
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
on and on we stand alone
until our day has come
when they open their eyes
and realize we are one
i love the way i feel today
but how i know the sun will fade
darker days seem to be
what will always live in me
but still i run
it's hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go
will i ever save this day
will it ever change
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
still today we carry on
i know our day will come
when they open their eyes
and realize we are one
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(its hard to walk this path alone
hard to know which way to go)
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
(lost the faith and lost the love when the day is done)
will they open their eyes
and realize we are one
'cause we're stepping into the unknown. that sense of uncertainty is ironically comforting. and yes, we're in this. it's the way things have grown to become. i ought not to freak out, eh? 'cause that's when things end. think think. how can this be. it's the
i will kill what hurts with something pure-
| 1:40 AM
do you wanna know what i think of you
do you wanna know
do you wanna know if i'm doing okay
just ask and i'll say
i'll say the words that i've longed to speak
have kept quiet for some time
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
do you wanna know how i feel about you
do you wanna know
do you wanna know if i'm able to forget
there are times i wish we'd never met
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
time won't change this
won't change the way i feel
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm fooled by something inside my head.
do you wanna know
do you wanna know if i'm doing okay
just ask and i'll say
i'll say the words that i've longed to speak
have kept quiet for some time
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
do you wanna know how i feel about you
do you wanna know
do you wanna know if i'm able to forget
there are times i wish we'd never met
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
time won't change this
won't change the way i feel
i'm sorry it's just too late
to get it all back get back what we had
i'm sorry it's just not right
we both know it wasn't meant to be like this at all
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm fooled by something inside my head.
Sunday, August 06, 2006 | 10:18 PM
SOS! help.
alright stop,
alright stop,
Saturday, August 05, 2006 | 10:11 PM
i sat there and watched,
as blatant feelings they forged;
the way they kiss & caress,
how he's tugging at her dress.
they think they know what love is,
i laugh, 'cause this,
nothing but a cruel game.
oh, what shame.
she's got her hands around his neck,
just then i shuffle the deck.
& "it's all fake!" i cry,
so why do we try?
but then again i realised we're all living a lie.
why.
she's falling in his eyes,
as i roll the dice.
'three', it reads.
but these signs they don't heed.
"we're ready."
but i see they're unsteady.
fast.
it's not going to last.
there's another on the waiting list;
i think i'm gonna diss.
so who's to blame,
when they've been framed?
what's it going to take,
till this thread breaks?
as it pirouettes & spins;
forgive them of their sins.
no questions, no answers,
only subtle turns.
just wait,
a little wait.
'cause i feel cheated.
thanks RAHH, we realise that we feel the same way. sometimes things are better said out loud. instead of box-ing them. thanks for everything, i must say :D hearing each other out certainly took a load off me :D if not i would've been left there to think of it alone. and that's dangerous. RAHH is right - everything is inside. and i sigh-
so do i cry or laugh right now? all i managed was a wry smile. and then there's the sharp hint of new tears. as for you, just GO AWAY.'cause i'm not about to look at your face again. you pull me in too deep, i don't want it to be this way. for we all act on impulse.
reality is crashing through the floor;
as blatant feelings they forged;
the way they kiss & caress,
how he's tugging at her dress.
they think they know what love is,
i laugh, 'cause this,
nothing but a cruel game.
oh, what shame.
she's got her hands around his neck,
just then i shuffle the deck.
& "it's all fake!" i cry,
so why do we try?
but then again i realised we're all living a lie.
why.
she's falling in his eyes,
as i roll the dice.
'three', it reads.
but these signs they don't heed.
"we're ready."
but i see they're unsteady.
fast.
it's not going to last.
there's another on the waiting list;
i think i'm gonna diss.
so who's to blame,
when they've been framed?
what's it going to take,
till this thread breaks?
as it pirouettes & spins;
forgive them of their sins.
no questions, no answers,
only subtle turns.
just wait,
a little wait.
'cause i feel cheated.
thanks RAHH, we realise that we feel the same way. sometimes things are better said out loud. instead of box-ing them. thanks for everything, i must say :D hearing each other out certainly took a load off me :D if not i would've been left there to think of it alone. and that's dangerous. RAHH is right - everything is inside. and i sigh-
so do i cry or laugh right now? all i managed was a wry smile. and then there's the sharp hint of new tears. as for you, just GO AWAY.
reality is crashing through the floor;
Friday, August 04, 2006 | 10:42 PM
desperate for changing
starving for truth
closer to where i started
chasing after you
forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
if you take all of me now
hanging by a moment withyou,
starving for truth
closer to where i started
chasing after you
forgetting all i'm lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
if you take all of me now
hanging by a moment with
| 1:08 AM
it's like, there's so much to be done but we don't know where and how to start. and that's totally scary. tmr's already friday. (boy, am i glad for that. 'cause it means i've survived the week :D) but time isn't on our side ): meeting EXCO tmr, unprepared. and monday's the final briefing already. great /: how are we gonna pull this off? magic? HAH, I LAUGH.
and, can you believe, that all these nights i've been staying up, have beenin vain? or, to be more precise, these MORNINGS. grahh- it's not like i'm comlaining they did it for us. but i still think we should've been informed, somehow. woohoo, look at our health now. three (and more) emaciated & fatigued little girls.. and poor abi, she's down with HIGH FEVER. which leaves yusin and i the two still standing /: how taxing it is, i must add. oh, keep bending till i break. just wait and see, for what shall befall.
sometimes you send messages that end up in all the wrong places.
and i wonder why.
is this utter ignorance?
is she drowning her fears,
in a glass of deception?
when everything's hazy then everything will beokay.
and, can you believe, that all these nights i've been staying up, have been
sometimes you send messages that end up in all the wrong places.
and i wonder why.
is this utter ignorance?
is she drowning her fears,
in a glass of deception?
when everything's hazy then everything will be
Thursday, August 03, 2006 | 2:03 AM
YAY I GOT FOOD! :D
missyellow and i have the ultimate weight-gaining diet just for you :D no, for us :D bwahah. hm, let's see. i found, chocolate, cake, icecream.. and missyellow has icecream too so that makes it double portion :D woohoo, i can see myself ballooning already :D hahaha. seriously i need to gain weight, and fast. can you imagine, after this i'm going to sleep :D see how fat my stomach will become. nahh, no loss. 'cause i've lost 1kg already,due to ndp. oh, and like mr yau said, i'm gonna perform some magic :D yay? /:
ohman, but honestly.i feel like a total junkie. no sleep, no food, no energy, no motivation, no goal, no aim, no warmth, no love. darn. even missyellow says my eyes look bloodshot. oh, i'd say! the number of hours i rest.. it kills. grahh-
on a lighter note, never ever thought i'd be second i :D and of all departments, ORIENTEERING! :D not that i'm complaining :D i've resolved to learn to love any dept i'm posted to :D and so here it is. ORIENTEERING dept - yanyi kelly weishan adel :D we rock. and best - COMPASSES! :D woohoo, means i'll never be lost again.yeah right. i've got so much to learn from yanyi :D i think my orienteering skills are bad ): ohwell. must thank the leaders for giving me this opportunity :D and so i will take on this resposibility :D future LJs during OAC are gonna rock! :D
i catalogue these steps now,
decisive & intentioned.
missyellow and i have the ultimate weight-gaining diet just for you :D no, for us :D bwahah. hm, let's see. i found, chocolate, cake, icecream.. and missyellow has icecream too so that makes it double portion :D woohoo, i can see myself ballooning already :D hahaha. seriously i need to gain weight, and fast. can you imagine, after this i'm going to sleep :D see how fat my stomach will become. nahh, no loss. 'cause i've lost 1kg already,
ohman, but honestly.
on a lighter note, never ever thought i'd be second i :D and of all departments, ORIENTEERING! :D not that i'm complaining :D i've resolved to learn to love any dept i'm posted to :D and so here it is. ORIENTEERING dept - yanyi kelly weishan adel :D we rock. and best - COMPASSES! :D woohoo, means i'll never be lost again.
i catalogue these steps now,
decisive & intentioned.
| 1:23 AM
woohoo, i'm hungry.
shall not elaborate further regarding today. sigh, been real uptight about the whole ndp thing. i think i can die.can i cry now? almost did in school ): but then i know i can't. i mustn't. you never know how weak that is. 'cause i know i must pull through. people are supporting me :D though i think i'm on my way to a fever. been staying up so much this whole week; it's the last stretch.
be my escape :D
yep, that's what we need right now ): just one day off. away from this all. woohoo, that'd happen after ndp. meanwhile, the wait. we'll just have to pick ourselves up and move along :D
are we even ready to handle this? have you taken that into consideration? yep. it's got to be justperfect. though things of such don't exist. ohwell. guess i was in my own world of make-believe, where we'd make it through. but it was the wrong choice and i think ought to take my leave. unless this is another wrong turn, then you've got to tell me.
stop questioning my commitment, i must add you don't have a right to.
everything is f'ed up straight from the heart;
tell me what do you do, when it all fallsapart?
gotta pick myself up - where do i start?
'cause i can't turn to you when it all fallsapart-
to be the last one standing.
shall not elaborate further regarding today. sigh, been real uptight about the whole ndp thing. i think i can die.
be my escape :D
yep, that's what we need right now ): just one day off. away from this all. woohoo, that'd happen after ndp. meanwhile, the wait. we'll just have to pick ourselves up and move along :D
are we even ready to handle this? have you taken that into consideration? yep. it's got to be just
stop questioning my commitment, i must add you don't have a right to.
everything is f'ed up straight from the heart;
tell me what do you do, when it all falls
gotta pick myself up - where do i start?
'cause i can't turn to you when it all falls
to be the last one standing.
| 1:14 AM
tag replies;
rw: haha, yeah! /: 'cause i think we've all been so busy ): ohwell.
rw: YEAH I WOULD LOVE THAT, thankyou :D still haven't got round collecting 'em all /:
kyle: haha, i must agree :D you should learn that yourself :D anyway i wonder what she said :D
joseph: haha, okay :D but still sorry anyway. oh, and the play was good. thanks :D
kyle: haha :D woohoo, deep! <3
pingsiew: haha, sure :D thanks for that update :D and i can't rmb how i got your url either /: ohwell.
missyellow: that reminds me.. i'm supposed to tag you too! /: oops. sorry!
kyle: bwahah :D yep, thanks.
weishan: WOOHOO, ORIENTEERING DEPT ROCKS! :D lalala. and i tagged you! :D
RAHH: haha, cool right! :D
rw: -smiles back :D
JESSICA!: sheesh /: I DON'T FLIRT THANKYOU :D bwahah. your man! sheesh >< why would i even want to go recee with him, please! :D haha.
rainpartner: YEAH! :D woohoo, we just love the rain, don't we :D YOU ACS! bwahah :D i mean, of all people you'd never expect me to take over your ma'am right! :D woohoo.
done! (:
rw: haha, yeah! /: 'cause i think we've all been so busy ): ohwell.
rw: YEAH I WOULD LOVE THAT, thankyou :D still haven't got round collecting 'em all /:
kyle: haha, i must agree :D you should learn that yourself :D anyway i wonder what she said :D
joseph: haha, okay :D but still sorry anyway. oh, and the play was good. thanks :D
kyle: haha :D woohoo, deep! <3
pingsiew: haha, sure :D thanks for that update :D and i can't rmb how i got your url either /: ohwell.
missyellow: that reminds me.. i'm supposed to tag you too! /: oops. sorry!
kyle: bwahah :D yep, thanks.
weishan: WOOHOO, ORIENTEERING DEPT ROCKS! :D lalala. and i tagged you! :D
RAHH: haha, cool right! :D
rw: -smiles back :D
JESSICA!: sheesh /: I DON'T FLIRT THANKYOU :D bwahah. your man! sheesh >< why would i even want to go recee with him, please! :D haha.
rainpartner: YEAH! :D woohoo, we just love the rain, don't we :D YOU ACS! bwahah :D i mean, of all people you'd never expect me to take over your ma'am right! :D woohoo.
done! (:
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 | 9:25 PM
ohman, i think the lyrics to this song is cute :D haha, lfo's funky! :D
c'mon..
i said lets talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
but i just laugh about it 'cause she's always playin' those games...
c'mon deep down i know she loves me, but she got a funny way of showin' me how she cares
last night she did a doughnut on my lawn
and drove off with one finger in the air
sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white,
sometimes she's wrong, sometimes i'm right,
sometimes we talk about it and we figure it out,
but then she just changed her mind
sometimes she's hot, sometimes i'm cold
sometimes my head wants to explode,
but when i think about it, i'm so in love with her
every other time
yeah, every other time
sometimes we sit around just the two of us on a park bench
sometimes we swim around like two dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
but then i think about the time when we broke up before the prom
and you told everyone that i was gay... okay
sometimes i walk around the town for hours just to settle down
but i take you back and you kick me down
'cause that's the way uh-huh uh-huh i like it
keep it up homegirl don't you quit
you know the way you scream is the ultimate
and when i walk away just watch the clock
i bet i don't even get around the block
i said let's talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
one day we'll laugh about it, 'cause we're always playin' those games
every other time
woohoo. someday i'll put on your heart is safe with me :D that one's nice too.
ahh, supposed to be studying chem & emath. fine, i'll disappear :D but still got to be back later anyway. for ndp stuff, AGAIN /: sheesh. this is demanding, but i'll pull through :D today was a real bad day ):i know i suck but i didn't have to get it in the face. but thankyou anyway, you pulled me back into reality.
how can you doubt mylove when you're the reason i'm smiling? (:
c'mon..
i said lets talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
but i just laugh about it 'cause she's always playin' those games...
c'mon deep down i know she loves me, but she got a funny way of showin' me how she cares
last night she did a doughnut on my lawn
and drove off with one finger in the air
sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white,
sometimes she's wrong, sometimes i'm right,
sometimes we talk about it and we figure it out,
but then she just changed her mind
sometimes she's hot, sometimes i'm cold
sometimes my head wants to explode,
but when i think about it, i'm so in love with her
every other time
yeah, every other time
sometimes we sit around just the two of us on a park bench
sometimes we swim around like two dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
but then i think about the time when we broke up before the prom
and you told everyone that i was gay... okay
sometimes i walk around the town for hours just to settle down
but i take you back and you kick me down
'cause that's the way uh-huh uh-huh i like it
keep it up homegirl don't you quit
you know the way you scream is the ultimate
and when i walk away just watch the clock
i bet i don't even get around the block
i said let's talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
one day we'll laugh about it, 'cause we're always playin' those games
every other time
woohoo. someday i'll put on your heart is safe with me :D that one's nice too.
ahh, supposed to be studying chem & emath. fine, i'll disappear :D but still got to be back later anyway. for ndp stuff, AGAIN /: sheesh. this is demanding, but i'll pull through :D today was a real bad day ):
how can you doubt my
| 6:00 PM
you must be kidding.
don't play.
and the answer is,
don't play.
and the answer is,