sleeping later than 2am everyday sure is something; i did it. i'm still so shocked how i managed to survive training yesterday, without food. hah. sure, i was expriencing that nasty gastric pain again, and it affected my performance ): as it is, i think i need to correct my posture. the pain just made it worse, 'cause i had to keep bending over. but ohwell. i still went throught the motion. just got to remember to relax those shoulders and raise my cg. i'm gonna do this.
watch out people, 'cause we're coming. we're gonna bring it all back - the glory days. no one's gonna stop us. we have the passion & fire now, more than ever. for us, for cedar. for we've been left on the sidewalk long enough-
it's all a mad rush. oh, talk about choosing the right paths.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah. vicky said something that really made me think.
she can't find her place, says:
uh huh.
she can't find her place, says:
what's it?
the chapters unfinished, says:
wait ah
the chapters unfinished, says:
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
yeah. you noe, mb i jus think too much, but seriously, this is our life u noe. we will never get to live it agn. i wonder is whatever i m doin realli wat i want to do with my life.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. i've always thought about that, really. i mean. sometimes i envy others. how they can be so free, to LIVE life. like pinghui, for example. she can.. MUG. okay, even if you say mugging isn't our life, but she isn't constrained.. sigh, don't know how to put it.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yes, there are more stuffs we discussed. so emo ><
she can't find her place, says:
sometimes i wish, i could take breaks. 'cause i know i won't want to totally give up this. i wish i could come and go, as and when. wouldn't that be great? but we cannot choose; we can't have the best of both worlds.
the chapters unfinished, says:
thats why
the chapters unfinished, says:
we chose this path, we have to keep on moving forward.
she can't find her place, says:
yes.. talking about paths. that day i was talking to nicholas about this too.
she can't find her place, says:
about me choosing this path. sometimes i wonder if i'm wrong. recently, the doubts and sense of insecurity have escalated to such a level.. i really don't know if i am putting in my best.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i realised that i'm always doing last minute work, and when things don't turn out right, i regret.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't like.
she can't find her place, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
the chapters unfinished, says:
LIFE HAS CHANGED
vicky' theDEAFENINGsilence says:
ALOT! i think abt how i used to be. it comes across that my past was so immature. but i think of the present n it somehow makes me feel like i m missing out on so much fun n joy of life
she can't find her place, says:
):
she can't find her place, says:
i used to be.. so carefree. at least i knew where i was heading.
the chapters unfinished, says:
me too. i used to be so confident of myself. now it's all gone.
she can't find her place, says:
now, it's always an endless struggle to complete what's at hand. just, for now. what's in it for us, long term? i cannot see, i cannot tell. and i don't know if i want to know, if i'm ready to know. i realised how it has come to pass that i have to let go off my past, i cannot afford to hold on to them. i'm beginning to forget things so easily..
she can't find her place, says:
everyday serves only the purpose of GOING THROUGH THE MOTION.
the chapters unfinished, says:
):
the chapters unfinished, says:
im getting all so emo now.
the chapters unfinished, says:
i don't understand why we slog so hard for others. we sacrificed so much stuffs, results, our sleep, whatever.. and for who? us?
she can't find her place, says:
YES.
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i am blogging about. hah, you just talked about this and coincidentally i am blogging so i just did some consolidation and reflection.. and i said the same thing /:
she can't find her place, says:
where are we heading, why are we doing this? for whom, for what. are we willing?
she can't find her place, says:
that's what i posted.
she can't find her place, says:
or rather, am posting.
the chapters unfinished, says:
ohmy.
the chapters unfinished, says:
somehow we sounded selfish. but we are humans too. WE NEED A LIFE OF OUR OWN PLEASE.
the chapters unfinished, says:
aye.
she can't find her place, says:
YES ):
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i know.. it's "if we don't do it, who will? someone has to sacrifice." and we're not exactly complaining about it. 'cause like i said, we sure won't want to entirely give this up. but at times, enough is enough. we're experiencing saturation here, and that you cannot deny. that's why i believe we need time off. we need to take five.
the chapters unfinished, says:
yeah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
maybe we are just born to lead. like sometimes i ask myself why do i want to go that extra mile so that something could turn out well. why am i committing myself so much? impulse? not likely.
the chapters unfinished, says:
urgh, don't know ah.
the chapters unfinished, says:
then after you feel all the stress and whatever, you think you shdn have committed yourself. then why did we still volunteer in the first place? ohmy, so complicating.
she can't find her place, says:
):
sigh, SOS. we need help. and this is for real.
watch as they all fly away;