apple&straw;
thanks for the salt.

checked eoy papers today.
can't say i did well. passed all six papers we got back, though barely. the two languages are still my strongest, with As; probably the only two i can count on. social studies was shit. i did so much worse than expected. looking at the way things are, guess i can't assume to do well for history elective. that's great. my pure geography was so bad. it's not gonna help, the fact that my term 3 marks are below 50. so there goes humanities - my first love. chemistry was terrible, and i'm really disappointed for physics. all were Bs and Cs.

worst of all, reality has hit real hard. and right smack in my face.
L1R5 >20 = no jc admission

imagine that. i'm not gonna be able to get into the junior college of my choice. that's totally out of the question now. wow, how bad can things get. what with the fact that examinations and grades mean so much now, more than ever before. i am in, and therefore i must perform. this is definitely not the standard. what the hell, i can't even meet the mark. i should just forget about 6 for a moment. or more? i hate to admit i tried my best. that'll just mean my incompetence has come forth.

i wasn't allowed to go training today. wow, so much for keeping to that personal goal. now i'll only have 2 trainings to spare. and, that'll obviously be taken up by dreams+teams this wednesday and friday. the haze is bad. i wonder how they're doing at training now. this is just gonna make her impression of me worse. i bet she thinks i'm slacking off again. i feel entirely misunderstood. but it's not like i can do anything about it.

break at the lowest.
i have come to a conclusion that i'm not tactful enough.
oh, but for the many times i have hurt you.
so, who's the loser now?

today i realised the pain of waiting; missing.
wishing i could erase it all.
this is what i fear most, and it has come to call.

please,
don't take it away.
it's like coffee.


mr. voicebox ran away ):