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Thursday, April 12, 2007 | 9:35 PM

Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry.


Can't take it no more.

Lessons are now the easiest thing to get past in the day. Absolutely unbelievable. Never thought there'd come a day it'd be said. But hell yeah, the day has come. Love the classroom. And everything in it. It's home; like where solace is found. No phone, no events, no planning, no screw-ups (well, almost), no life.. Anything to not face everything, honestly.

Just like how HMT period was. So, entertaining. Great way to start the day. But things always screw it up in the end anyway. In the words of China's National Anthem: Wake up.. (Well, those are the only two words our dearest gang jie - HK girl - can remember. Tsk.) Someday I'm really going to get that flag-raising animation in our computers and mobile phones. RAHH knows what I mean.

Downward spiral. How true. Intriguing. MtYau never fails to make it all right.. With false hope, false comfort, false lies. Okay, does that make sense? Not complaining, just stating. And it's true - how long, how much, more am I going to believe? Holding on is too difficult. More difficult than finding solutions in an exasperated state. I'd rather be stressed to my head and yet still be able play supergirl; instead of keeping calm and saving nothing but my emotional status. Ain't worth it.

Superstitious? Hell, no. Just, WHY. All has to happen at the same time. Is it really such a coincidence? Please, I don't want to be guilty - I don't want to have reasons to be angry with God. 50th Anniversary is nothing big. In fact, it's everything screwed up, in a BIG way. Sorry 'bout CSB and MLDDS ): Jiayou, the rest.

Something's got to happen to lift us all. Aren't we all supposed to be "riding the waves"? More like, crashing; residing in the trough, we are. Pathetic.

Tomorrow's going to be the busiest and craziest day of my life: School, Sports heats, Video shoot, MTP, Campfire. It's doom. And when my parents find out about how I've been in school, I'll probably just die off to nowhere. Today might well be my last day in the online world. Thanks.


I want to sleep, and never wake.
It's not dying.

Just, never-ending sleep.