Ever since JC life started, everything's been flashing past. Almost in a whirl.

But there's never a day that goes by that I miss out on missing Cedar. Despite all the "negative" parts of the culture - like the discrimination, even elitism at that - there's no doubt it's a place I call 'Home'. 4 years I've spent there, and like Quincy said: It's etched. (And I've got 'em scars to prove it.)

NYJC is homey, rather. But it's just not the same. At all. No doubt. I miss 'school', as I've come to know it.

Moving on leaves one empty, if you look at it pessimistically. It's not a new beginning, it's another end. Another memory that p'haps most deem fitter to leave to the deepest recesses of one's mind. But I beg to differ.

After being in Cedar, there's this need to see the Life in action. Once more; no, all the time. Constantly and surely, like it's something to be fed upon. It's the drug I need in my veins. The very veins that pump this heart. For the heart, itself, sustains life.

Attending school everyday just reminds me of Cedar. Every time I look myself in the mirror, or see the other Cedarians walking around school in the Blue & Grey, I just wish I'd never have to change out of my uniform. It's what gives me identity. Security. Knowing we belong to somewhere or something, and knowing that somehow we are of worth is the basis of what keeps us going. People need to feel acceptance.

Can't things just stay this way? With the GCE 'O' Level results set to be released next week, I don't know what to think anymore.

Everything is coming together. But not in harmony.